well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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