Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
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i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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