she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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