i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize