Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it was like eating out sand paper
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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