i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
