he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This is my gift to your gina
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
