I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
