How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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