I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
