yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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