so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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