I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is Oprah even human
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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