Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
