I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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