I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
