well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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