Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
