it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
