let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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