The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
