I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
