Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
