I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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