Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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