So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
