don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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