I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
