we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
