Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
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I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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