She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You are a genius and a whore.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
