the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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