i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
