Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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