haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
