I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
