he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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