Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
