So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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