So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
