Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
