i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
