yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
