I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
