I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
