What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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