He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
