dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
