i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
