Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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