I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
