I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Gay?
German.
Pity.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
