IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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