Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
