even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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