You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
