There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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