Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
