I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
