my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
