There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How external is "for external use only"?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
