dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
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