Plan B is the new Plan A
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
