so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
