i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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