Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
