thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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