Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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